I'm Still Here
by Gilgrl2092
Summary: A Post7.09 fic. What would happen if Lorelai and Luke shared their first real conversation after the breakup.
1. The Talk

_I'm Still Here_

The bell rang as Lorelai walked into Luke's Diner. Luke was standing, wiping the counter with a barely wet cloth. "We're closed. Come back tomorrow," Luke grumbled angrily. Lorelai just stood there unable to speak or move. Since, he did not hear the bell again he turned around as he said, "I said we're … Lorelai?" He was stunned.

Lorelai hadn't step foot inside his diner since that day she gave him the ultimatum. They had only talked once, but that was when Luke needed help with April. They hadn't even said hello in passing or even turned their heads.

"What are you doing here?" Luke asked after trying several times to come up with an answer himself.

"I, … uh," Lorelai wasn't really sure why exactly she came in. She just saw Luke through the window as she passed and felt the urge to go in. "I … desperately need coffee." Wanting coffee was the easiest answer to give and not have it questioned afterwards, because after all, Luke knows better than anyone that Lorelai needs her coffee.

"Ok. One minute." Luke answered emotionless. He didn't want to lead her on to think he was glad she was there, even though deep down he was.

Lorelai was surprised at his answer. She could tell that there was no pot of coffee already made, and she really didn't expect him to make her some special anymore, especially after everything that happened.

Luke turned around as it was warming up, "You can sit down if you want," he spoke gently and motioned to a stool at the counter.

"Thanks," she replied, as she placed her purse on the stool to her left and took a seat. Luke leaned against the counter behind him and stared at Lorelai. They stood in silence for a long time.

Lorelai contemplated being the first to speak, but decided not to. She knew the right time for one of them to talk would come soon.

Beep, beep, beep. The signal that the coffee was ready rang loudly. Luke pulled the coffee pot out of the machine along with a coffee cup, and poured her a cup. "So …" Luke finally broke the silence, "You're … uh engaged." Luke knew that this was probably the worst way to start the conversation.

"Um, no." Lorelai slowly replied, confusing him, "Not engaged, married." Lorelai looked down as she said this. She couldn't help but feel ashamed that she so easily got married to Christopher after not being able to work things out with Luke.

"Wow, married. That was, well, um, fast." Luke stumbled over the words, trying to stay calm, but on the inside, he was anything but calm. He was already having a terrible week, after April's meltdown and his fight with Anna. Now, Lorelai was piling more things on top of him.

Lorelai could clearly tell he was hurt. She hated to be the one that hurt him. "Yeah, well it was just like a spur of the moment thing." The words just tumbled out of Lorelai's mouth; She didn't think about them, and she wasn't sure if they were the right things to say, but she said them anyway.

"Well, that's really great Lorelai. I'm happy for you," Luke responded in the happiest tone he could muster up.

Lorelai desperately wanted to change the subject. It was so hard talking to the townspeople about her marriage but even harder to talk to Luke about it, since she knew that they had their chance. "So how's April? Is she feeling better after her operation?"

Luke wasn't really sure that April was a much better subject, but he answered her questions, "April's fine. She's feeling much better. I think everyone in her school has seen her stitches by now." They both chuckled a little. It was a nice change for the both of them.

Lorelai missed the sound of his laughter so much. Just hearing it made her smile. "That's good. I'm glad you two are getting closer."

"Yeah. Closer. Finally. And now she's taking it away," Luke murmured quietly.

But Lorelai still heard him. "What? Who's taking it away? Anna? What's happening?" Lorelai questioned, very concerned.

Luke was shocked at how concerned Lorelai was, but then again, he was happy she was concerned. He smiled for a second then realized that even though he was smiling, a tear was running down his cheek. "Anna, yes. She and April are … moving. To New Mexico," Luke sobbed.

Lorelai's jaw dropped wide open. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "But, why?"

Before Luke knew it he was making his way to the stool next to Lorelai and retelling everything that was going on, "Anna's mom is sick, and she wants to be closer to her because she could die soon, and I get that she wants to be with her, but I told her that April can stay with me for as long as she wants, maybe just until the school year is over. But Anna said no. And April doesn't want to move. She had a meltdown the other day … j … just like the one I'm having now."

Lorelai rubbed her hand up and down Luke's back. "It's ok. It'll be ok," she whispered in his ear. She gave him a hug, to try to cheer him up. Not realizing at this very moment Christopher was outside watching them.


	2. The Fight

A/N: Hey everyone. Thanks for the amazing reviews. I am so glad everyone liked it. Since, this is my first fanfic, I didn't know exactly how it worked, so I didn't put an author's note before the first chapter like I wanted. It basically would have said this is my first fanfic, etc. So, anyway, now on to the much anticipated chapter 2.

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Now, to Chris on the outside looking in, this picture did not look good. Luke's head was resting on Lorelai's shoulder, Lorelai's arms were around him, and she was stroking his back. Chris saw her lips moving, but could not understand what she was saying.

"It's ok. It's all going to be ok. I'm still here for you," Lorelai spoke, reassuring Luke. "I won't leave until you're ready."

Right then Chris couldn't stand just watching anymore and barged into the diner. The ringing of the bells startled both Luke and Lorelai, and they both quickly left their tight embrace.

"Chris?" Lorelai questioned, "Wha … what are you doing here?"

"I came out of our room and you were gone. You didn't tell me where you were going or even leave a note, and now I see why!" Chris exclaimed. He turned around and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"Chris wait," Lorelai shouted after him. Luke was now sitting there alone, as Lorelai ran after Chris. She caught up and they started to fight, just barely in Luke's view.

"What were you thinking just sneaking out? And why would you go see your ex?" Chris shouted angrily, his hands flailing all around.

"I wasn't sneaking out! I told you I was gong to the market. You must not have heard me," Lorelai yelled in return.

"Then you lied to me!"

"I did not lie to you! I wasn't planning on going to Luke's…" Lorelai then spoke quieter, "It just happened."

Chris not noticing the call for civility with the quieting of Lorelai's voice continued, " Yeah well Sherry getting pregnant just happened, and you got upset at me. Don't I have a right to be upset at you?"

Lorelai's jaw dropped. She could not believe what she was hearing. "How is his anything like what happened with Sherry?" Lorelai argued. "You left me for her! I had every right to be mad! I'm not leaving you just because I talked to my ex."

After hearing that last statement Chris clamed down a little. It was reassuring to him to know that his wife was not leaving him. "Fine," Chris said, "I'll see you at home." And he walked away.

Luke watched the whole fight from his seat in the diner, though he couldn't actually hear what they were saying. He felt bad that he caused the fight, but on the other hand good, because he really did not want them together. He still wanted Lorelai for himself.

Lorelai was walking back towards the diner, which surprised Luke a little, because he figured she would just follow Chris home. He looked down, so Lorelai would not think he was watching her, and saw her purse still sitting on the stool two seats over. He then realized why she was coming back.

She walked in and said, "Sorry, I, uh, forgot my purse." She was very surprised at the fact that Luke was in the same place she left him.

"Oh, yeah," He responded, quickly getting up and picking it up for her. "Sorry if I caused that.

"Oh don't be. It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong," Lorelai responded gently. There was a long pause, and the two of them just stood there, staring into each other's eyes. Lorelai finally broke the silence by saying, "Well I have to go."

She took the purse back in her left hand and it knocked the loosely fitted ring almost all the way off. Lorelai did not notice it, and as she opened the door, it fell to the ground. The ringing of the bells above the door, drowned out the sound of the ring hitting the floor.

Luke walked over to lock up and saw it shimmering below him, so he picked it up. He looked up, but she was long gone.

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A/N 2: Sorry that it took so long. I would have posted it sooner, but my internet broke.


	3. The Recap

A/N: Thanks for the great reviews again. I'm glad everyone is enjoying my story. I am trying to update about once a week, but I am going away over Christmas break. I will definitely write when I'm away, and try to update. I think you should get about one more update before I go away (I hope).

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Luke questioned keeping the ring. He knew it was his ex-fiancé's wedding ring and there's nothing in that statement that would make him consider keeping it. Nonetheless, Luke put it on his nightstand, and went to sleep.

Chris had calmed down a little since their fight on the street. After quickly walking home, he got into his Volvo and drove to Woodbridge. He didn't want to be seen in Stars Hollow. Even without living there very long, he knew that soon enough news of their fight would be all around town.

He parked in front of the bar, but didn't go in. He just sat there. The car was off; it was silent except for a few cheers from the men inside watching the football game. For an hour Chris sat there, thinking about his marriage and his history with Lorelai.

Lorelai was the one person he ever wanted to marry. He truly loved her, but wanting to marry someone does not promise a happy ending. Look back at that day in Paris, Chris realized that he forced Lorelai into marrying him. "I think we should wait," Lorelai pleaded to him, but he was afraid of waiting. After hearing all those terrible things that happened with Luke, he didn't want them to happen to him and Lorelai. Especially since they were never able to work it out in the past.

The past was a sign, and Chris has finally realized it. If he has really wanted to marry Lorelai it would have happened a while ago, but it didn't. He asked Lorelai to marry him when they were only sixteen, but she felt they were too young. About six years ago, when he came to Stars Hollow for the first time, he asked her again, but she didn't feel they knew each other well enough as adults. Over the next year, he tried to get to know her, but Chris lost faith that Lorelai would ever truly love him, and that was when he met Sherry.

When Chris brought Sherry to meet Rory, Lorelai yelled at him loudly and in public. But after Rory broke her arm and she called him, Lorelai finally seemed ready for him. He then started to sabotage his and Sherry's relationship. Finally, when he and Lorelai were getting close, and he and Sherry were about to break up, she calls.

"I'm pregnant," Sherry said. Her words pierced his heart. He didn't wasn't to leave Lorelai, but he didn't want to do what he did to Rory to his next kid, so he went back to Sherry. Satisfying Sherry was not easy and before he knew it, she was gone.

That was when Lorelai came back. He didn't know how to take care of Gigi, so she came to the rescue. He decided to try one last time to get her for good, but Luke was the problem. Chris was just about to give up Luke was the problem. Chris was just about to give up hope, when Lorelai showed up at his door and they got back together and things finally worked the way he wanted, or at least stated to.

They were moving in different directions. Chris could tell be the way Lorelai was acting. Not wanting kids and talking to her ex again were not good signs. Finally, Chris realized that he was still sitting outside the bar, so he turned on the engine and drove away.

Lorelai arrived back at the Crap Shack and the house was dark. She wondered if Chris was there, but partly hoped he wasn't. After everything that happened, she really just wanted to be alone.

Why did she marry Chris? The answer really came to her. That day in Paris when Chris asked her to marry him, at first, she said no. Then remembering the feeling she had felt with Luke, the feeling of complete and total love and wanting marriage, plus Chris was almost begging her to accept, she gave in.

Lorelai remembered that day that she spilled her problems to Lynnie, the psychologist. She said that she wanted to be married and wanted more kids. The feeling of wanting to be married returned. Though she didn't know it at the time, that feeling was not truly there.

Wanting kids was a different story. With Luke, she always wanted kids. When they got engaged, they both agreed kids would be good, and that never went away, but with Chris it was different. He was always very spontaneous, and they never really discussed having kids, but he just brought up the subject out of nowhere. Lorelai was taken by surprise, and because of that, right away she said no.

After she was done looking back in time, Lorelai got out of the car and went inside. Turning on the light, she looked around. Everything looked wrong. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. The house was completely redone for her and Luke to live in, and they never did. They put in so much time, effort, and money and she's the one using it, not him.

She thought about how when she and Luke would sit on the couch together and watch a movie, it felt so right. They would snuggle up next to each other, and he would wrap his strong arms around her and her head would be resting on his shoulder. She felt so safe. Now, with Chris, she felt insecure. He's left many times before, just because they're married now doesn't mean he can't do it again. Everyone's heard stories of a husband leaving the wife in the middle of the night. That's what he old neighbor Dwight did. How can she be sure he's not one of them?

She ended her engagement to Max, and everyone was hurt, especially Rory. Rory hallways loved Max, and wanted him to be her stepfather. Then she hurt her again when she left Luke. Rory had always loved Luke ever since she was little. Lorelai hated tearing them apart, and even though Rory could still talk to him if she wanted, it would be awkward and hard. How could she hurt her again? It was so hard to tell her she got married, but telling her she go divorced would be harder. He's her father and can't stay away forever.

Rory wanted her to be happy, though, and if Chris was not making her happy then she would respect her mom's decision. The problem would be telling Christopher.

Before Lorelai could strategize, Chris came home. "Lorelai?" He called out, hoping she was there.

"I'm in here," Lorelai answered, wondering if she was going to have the courage to tell him.

"Lor, we need to talk. I've been thinking, …" He started. Lorelai could not figure out where he was going with this. "I think we need to talk about … about our future."

Their future could entail many things. It was hard to know where Chris was going with this one. He could be asking for kids again, which she hoped he wasn't.

Chris continued, "I've done some thinking about our relationship, and I've decided …"

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Ha Ha Ha! I'm so evil aren't I. If you want to find out what happens next review! Sorry for the lack of Luke in this chapter. There will be more of him in the future, I promise.


	4. The Breakup

A/N: Well, I didn't do that bad with getting it updated did I? It's been really hectic. You can thank my English teacher for putting on a movie this whole week so I could write. Well, obviously she didn't do it just so I could write, but that's what I did. I tried to incorporate some events that went on in 7.10, but they don't actually occur in the story. Just telling you that I am spoiler-free, so all events that happen in this story I made up. If they end up being similar to the show, well then I guess I'm psychic. Well, now let's finally start, because I know you've been waiting anxiously.

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"I've done some thinking about our relationship, and I've decided that I may have forced you into marriage too quickly. I figured that our love from all those years would build up each time we were together, but it didn't. Each time we broke up a little piece of our love for each other left and never came back, but we later realized it never would. You will always be in my life Lor, you're the mother of my child, but I don't think we are meant to be married," Chris spoke.

Lorelai looked down at her finger and noticed there was no ring there anymore. She held back the tears that were about to fill her eyes. How could she not have noticed her ring was gone? She didn't say anything to Chris about it though. This was what Lorelai wanted also, but still, she was sad to heat it from him.

"I agree," Lorelai said looking up. Their eyes met and they could see the pain. Not knowing what to say next they sat in silence.

Still in silence, Chris got up and walked towards the stairs. As he reached the staircase Lorelai said, "Wait," Chris turned around, "You don't have to leave right away. I mean, where would you go? Stay. You can sleep on the couch, like old times."

"Ok, thanks," Chris replied. He went to the bedroom to get some things to last the night downstairs.

Lorelai stayed sitting on the couch. What was going on? How could she have screwed up her marriage so fast? Where did she go wrong that caused him to want to divorce her?

When Luke broke up with her, she was down for days. She didn't know how to recover. In the past it had always been her that did the dumping. Now, she knew how Max and Jason and Luke must have felt when they lost her, especially Luke. Luke was her friend long before they started dating. It was hard to believe that she lost one of her best friends because she couldn't make the relationship work.

Luke and Lorelai dated for a year before they got engaged, and then they were going to wait another year to get married, but before they could get there they broke up. Chris and Lorelai had dated several times in the past, but this time they were only together a few months before they got married, and now they were breaking up.

There was a pattern there that was slightly unclear. With both men it did not work out, but each relationship was so different. With Luke it seemed like she waited too long, but with Chris it was too quick. When Lorelai thought about it, she realized there was no such thing as waiting too long. If two people are engaged, then they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Therefore, you cannot wait too long to get married, because after you're married it's all the same, except it's ok to have sex and get pregnant, and you support each other financially.

Even if Lorelai and Luke were not meant to be, neither are Chris and Lorelai. Someday she will find the one she loves, the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, but that person has not shown up yet.

Luke couldn't believe what the lawyer had told him. As April's father her had rights too. His absence during the first twelve years of her life should in no way reflect on him badly. It was Anna's fault for keeping it from him. Shortly after he found out he wanted to have an active role in her life.

He planned to tell the court all of this. Despite the lawyer's lack of confidence in his case, Luke was not going to give up without a fight. You can't lose a case until you try to win it. He would never feel good about his relationship with April if he didn't try to get partial custody.

If he just let her move to New Mexico, he would be losing another person that he loved, and Luke wasn't sure that he could handle that. First Lorelai, now April, what was his life coming to? All the people that he loved were quickly disappearing.

The case was to start in two days. He was surprised that Anna hadn't called him about it yet. Getting a surprise as big as the father of your child is suing for partial custody would definitely lead to a phone call to him. Maybe Anna was just processing. He had to go back to the lawyer's office soon to talk strategy.

He pulled up outside the office and went inside. In the waiting room a familiar face looked up at him. "Anna? What are you doing here?" Luke questioned, caught off guard.

"Well, when your lawyer called, he said you had another appointment today, so I came to talk to you," Anna answered.

"Haven't you ever heard of the phone?"

"Luke, what's going on? You were fine with our arrangement before, why do you want partial custody now?"

"Why? Because you're moving to New Mexico and I could never see my daughter again. You told me when I first found out about April that I was either in or out. Well I choose to be all-in, remember? You can't just take all of that away from me now," Luke answered trying to stay calm because he knew they were in public.

"Mr. Danes and Ms. Nardini, you can go in now," The receptionist called to them. The two of them stopped fighting for the time being.

Luke knocked on the door in front of them to make sure it was all right to go in. A voice from inside stated, "Come in." Luke opened the door and walked inside and Anna followed him. "Ah, Mr. Danes. Thank you for coming. And this must be Ms. Nardini, I was expecting you to come."

"Wait did you tell her to come?" Luke asked.

"No, I did not, but I told her she could come if she wanted to." The lawyer's voice was very monotone, and if Luke wasn't so angered right then, it probably could put him to sleep. "So now let's talk with Ms. Nardini first. Ms. Nardini, what do think of this case?"

"I think this case is a waste of time. April is _my_ daughter. She is my responsibility, and if I say we are moving to New Mexico, she really can't do anything about it. She's still a minor. We are moving not because I want to move, because I don't, but because we need to be with my mother," Anna argued.

"Thank you Anna for your input. Now Mr. Danes would you like to respond to Anna's comment?" The lawyer continued.

"I feel like I'm at marriage counseling," Luke said to the lawyer.

"Please, Mr. Danes, talk to Anna about her comment, we are never going to work this case out if you two don't communicate about it first."

"Ok, fine. Anna, April is not only your daughter. She's mine too. It was your fault that you didn't tell me about it thirteen years ago when you got pregnant, because if you did, I would have been there for you and April. I'm not the kind of guy that just picks up and leaves, and abandons his child. All you had to do was pick up the phone. So now, I'm taking you to court, so I can at least try to win partial custody of my child, because if I don't try I lose anyway." Luke argued. He wanted to win this case so badly he would do anything.

"Thank you Luke for your comment. Now make sure you both show up on Sunday at court. Anna it would be very helpful if you brought April, because we may need to question her. Now I have some people coming in a few minutes, so I need to get ready," The lawyer stated and dismissed them. Both Anna and Luke picked up their things and left.

"Luke," Anna started, "Don't you realize that this case is just going to put you under a lot of stress? Please call it off."

"No Anna. I'm not. I care too much about April to just let her go like this." Luke responded and walked to his car and drove home.


End file.
